I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize