Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize