$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
