4 words: hood of his car
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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