If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
