week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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