what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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