I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
