it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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