Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
