is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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