Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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