you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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