I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
