You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
