dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
