Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
