Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
