Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize