I wanna bring you to show and tell
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
