I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just want nice things and good sex
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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