does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
