Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
