but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
