I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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