Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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