we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
