So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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