Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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