somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
