she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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