My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
