thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
