i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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