now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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