So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
