Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
