i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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