I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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