let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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