Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
