If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
handjob tips. give me some.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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