How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
