We're facebook friends in real life
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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