so explain again why im purple
no
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
