Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
