would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize