Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
