I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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