Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
