He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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