Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
