i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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