last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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