he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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