Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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