I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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