my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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