need another drink. this is the easiest way
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
