"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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