so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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