my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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