I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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