Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well I just put wine in my tea
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
