what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
