K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
